Lot's of rejections, but here's a totally flattering rejection.
I will use this feedback and submit the new piece elsewhere, and keep these things in mind as I write. I have already sent them another story.
Keep the beatings coming!
" Dear Trayle,
Thank you so much for sending us your work. "Civil War" sparked lots of discussion among our editors. While we have ultimately decided to pass, we would love to see more of your work.
Normally, we simply don't have the time to give individual feedback, but we try to do so when a story comes so close. Below are some of the editors' comments:
1. This feels authentic and richly detailed. It also feels a bit too much like non-fiction, but it's good.
2. I love the descriptions and sense of place. My one concern is that I'm not sure I understand the relationship between the three parts. I believe they're supposed to be three distinct flashes, which is fine with me, but then they need their own titles and should be formatted such that the delineation is clear. My gut says that they should all be linked in some way beyond setting, too.
3. My issue is that I want more examples or stories from the elders. Two are not enough, IMO. However, I LOVE this.
4. I would suggest cutting the opening set-up altogether and going straight into the voices--and yes, I'd like a bunch more of them. Together they would create a broader world and then the fragmented structure would work as plot for the story.
Again, please keep us in mind for future submissions. "